Fraternizing With The Enemy
by John J. Xenakis


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A web site dedicated to gender issues for men ... and for women who care about men

John J. Xenakis

John J. Xenakis gets 15% in run for Auditor for State of Massachusetts!!!!

In an astounding result, John J. Xenakis received some 277,000 votes in his run for State Auditor of Massachusetts on election day, November 5, 2002, or 15% of the total vote. Xenakis, an independent, was virtually unknown in the state, and ran against the solidly entrenched Democratic candidate, Joe DeNucci, who has held the position for 18 years. DeNucci received 78% of the vote, and the Libertarian candidate, Jain, received 7% of the vote.

Recent Gender News and Analysis

  • Having Sons Shortens Mothers' Lives NEW!
  • Harvard University to Require Corroboration in Date Rape Accusations NEW!
  • Bush Administration to Support Single-Sex Education NEW!
  • The Left's Marriage Problem
  • Women Incumbents in House Vulnerable This Year

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"Fraternizing ..." Book Available

Fraternizing with the Enemy: A Book on Gender Issues for Men ... And For Women Who Care About Men Is Finally Available!!!

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  • My Boyfriend's Back, and I'm Gonna Be In Trouble.
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  • Jealous of Playboy
  • Mom's a Bitch
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Recent Gender News and Analysis

Having Sons Shortens Mothers' Lives

I guess those darn feminists were right about the patriarchy harming all women, but even the feminists didn't tell us that it happened in the womb. That seems to be the conclusion of a study by researchers at the University of Turku in Finland.

The study analyzed life, death and births among a group of Finnish nomads during the period 1640 to 1870, and found that the life span of mothers was reduced by about 34 weeks per son, but was extended by a daughter who grew to adulthood. Having three daughters offset the negative effects of having one son.

"Boys are usually born much heavier than girls," said Samuli Helle, the study's co-author. "It seems that boys are much more demanding to produce than girls." (See 5/10/02 AP story).

Harvard University to Require Corroboration in Date Rape Accusations

Harvard University's faculty has unanimously approved a new rule that will require eyewitnesses, physical evidence, and other "sufficient independent corroboration" before it will agree to investigate a date rape accusation. Previously, a simple uncorroborated accusation by a female student was enough to trigger an investigation. (See 5/8/02 Boston Globe article.)

This is a welcome change from the hysterical hyping of date rape that feminists have pursued -- ignoring false charges of rape and claiming, for example, that over 25% of all college girls are raped, when the actual figures are well under 1%. (Click here for more info.)

Bush Administration to Support Single-Sex Education

Reversing three decades of a really crazy federal policy, the Bush administration yesterday announced its intention to encourage single-sex education in the nation's public schools. (See 5/9/02 Washington Post article.)

Like most people, I believe that the best education is in coeducational classes, for most children. However, that's not true for all children, and that's where the craziness comes in. I recall an experiment in Detroit where teen boy gang members with a history of violence were put into single-sex classes, so that they could learn without the distraction of having girls around, and the experiment had to be discontinued because of this crazy federal policy which said that single sex classes are illegal.

Whether a child goes to a single-sex or coeducational school should be up to the child, the child's parents, and the local school board; having the federal government stick its fist in that decision is crazy.

The Left's Marriage Problem

The normally pro-feminist Washington Post has an editorial today, "The Left's Marriage Problem," criticizing NOW and other feminist organizations for opposing Bush's initiative to encourage single mothers to get married. After encouraging liberals to have a healthy debate on the subject, it says:

    >> But much of the left, and particularly the feminist left, doesn't seem interested in such a conversation. ... The possibilities are broad, yet the liberal reaction has been narrow: "Shotgun welfare betrothals" is how Robert Kuttner put it in the American Prospect. The antipathy was perhaps quickest and most insistent from the National Organization for Women. "I think back to when I was a teenager, and I would hear my grandmother's friends say, 'Honey, when are you going to get married?' " says NOW President Kim A. Gandy. "I would no more say to someone else: 'You ought to get married,' as though I knew what's best for them."

    >> Excuse us, but helping poor people navigate marriage is not the same thing as putting old-fashioned pressure on middle-class girls to get hitched.

The editorial also points out that "For decades, welfare discouraged marriage among the poor."

In my opinion, this could be stated more strongly: For several decades, the welfare system has been paying women to dump their husbands (children's fathers), thus actively discouraging marriage. If it's OK to discourage marriage for three decades, then encouraging marriage for a few years can't do much harm, and may do a lot of good. (See 4/5/02 Washington Post editorial.)

Women Incumbents in House Vulnerable This Year

1992 was the "Year of the Woman," allowing a record 19 female newcomers to enter the US House of Representatives. However, women incumbents of both parties are expected to have a very tough fight this year, according to analysts. (See 4/2/02 Christian Science Monitor story.)

Enron Men to get Equal Time

A week after Playboy invited Enron's female employees to pose nude for a future issue, Playgirl is making the same offer to the company's male employees. "We would prefer sexy photographs, any form of undress or anything that's sexy," said Playgirl editor-in-chief Michele Zipp. (See 4/2/02 New York Post article.)

Web Surfers Searching for Sex Sites Less Often

People using Internet search engines are searching for sex-related or pornographic web sites less often than in 1997; instead, surfers are directing their searches more to commerce, travel and employment web sites, according to a Penn State study of internet surfer habits. (See 4/1/02 article.)

Barbara Johnson Runs for Massachusetts Governor on Fathers' Rights Platform

Barbara Johnson, a lawyer who has represented many divorced men, is determined to try to change the system. She's thrown her hat in the ring as an Independent candidate for Governor of Massachusetts.

Check out her web site and her platform at

Black Women Bemoan Shortage of Black Men in College

There are more women than men going to college these days -- college students are typically 55-60% female.

But the difference is even more pronounced at black colleges, whose students are 65-70% female.

It's a dream come true for black college males. "I'm going to be moving," said one. "I'm going to have girls in and out of my room." (See 3/31/02 AP article.)

Feminists Should Blame Feminists' Bad Policies for Murder of Women

Eileen McNamara's column today blames men in general for the murder of a woman last Tuesday. In a column entitled, "Preventable, not inevitable," she says that if police arrested men who violated restraining orders, so many women would not be murdered.

    Violating a restraining order is a criminal act for which the offender is supposed to be arrested. It's the law. It was enacted a decade ago to put some teeth into the enforcement of such orders, which are, after all, only pieces of paper. But Cotter wasn't arrested, even though a warrant was issued.... We have been wringing our hands about the judicial response to domestic violence in this Commonwealth for 16 years, ever since a pregnant young wife turned up dead in the Lexington dump. ...

    ''If he's determined to kill her,'' we still say, ''there is nothing anyone can do to stop him.'' It is just not true. If Tom Ridge, the director of Homeland Security, can devise a system to rate the daily level of threat from international terrorism, we can find a system to keep women secure in their own homes. We cannot do that, however, until we decide to take this brand of domestic terrorism seriously. (See 3/31/02 Boston Globe column by Eileen McNamara.)

I've sent the following e-mail message to the columnist:

    Subject: It's your feminist friends' fault

    Ms. McNamara:

    Feminists oppose mandatory jailing of batterers because experience has shown that it reduces funding for women's shelters.

    A second reason that feminists oppose mandatory jailing of batterers is that it would mean that some women batterers would be jailed as well, also reducing funding for women's shelters.

    Both reasons have a common denominator: Money for feminists.

    Feminists would rather have the batterers out on the street, where they'll batter more women, and provide more funding for feminist organizations.

    I know it's easier to bash men, but it's your feminist friends who are the problem.

    If you don't believe me, check with feminist researchers Eve S. Buzawa and Carl G. Buzawa, both Professors of Criminal Justice at the University of Massachusetts-Lowell.

    John J. Xenakis

I've been studying all sorts of feminist policies for over ten years, and they all have something in common: Feminists are more interested in money and political power than protecting women.

It's time we start placing the blame where it belongs: It's feminists who don't want batterers arrested.

More Boy-Bashing in Public Schools

Public school officials, citing so-called zero-tolerance policies, are punishing young boys with suspension and even criminal charges, for playing traditional boys' games like cops and robbers or even "tag." In one case, four kindergartners were suspended for three days for pointing fingers, pretending to shoot one another. (See 3/29/02 Washington Times article.)

This reminds me of the 1995 case of Johnathan Prevette who was suspended from school because he kissed a six-year-old girl classmate on the cheek. I still remember the feminist talking head on TV saying, "It's just a kiss now, but it could be rape when he gets a little older. We have to send these boys a message as early as possible."

These are all examples of the boy-bashing that's been going on the last ten years or so, and since I have a son, it infuriates me. This boy-bashing is being done by moronic school teachers, almost all of them women, who haven't a clue about how boys think or act, and think that if they bash boys enough, they'll get boys to spend their free time playing hopscotch like the girls.

There are two good books available for those who want to learn more about the problem of boy-bashing in public schools: The War Against Boys : How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men by Christina Hoff Sommers and The Wonder of Boys : What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men, by Michael Gurian.)

Hundreds of Enron Women Contacting Playboy

A day after Playboy magazine announced it wants to publish a "Women of Enron" issue, hundreds of current and former Enron employees contacted the magazine to find out more about possibly becoming a nude model. "If it pays the monthly bills, hey, you have to do things to pay the bills," says one 33-year-old woman. "So, I have no problems with it." (See 3/26/02 MSNBC article and also see 3/25/02 Playboy press release .)

Judges Making More Personal Demands on Defendants

Judges in gender cases seem to be handing down more imaginative and more personally invasive sentences.

A New York judge as ordered a non-custodial mother to stop smoking -- even when her son is with his dad -- if she ever wants to see her son again. Johnita DeMatteo's 13-year-old son Nicholas, who lives with his dad, had complained to the judge that he couldn't stand going to visit his mom because her apartment smelled of cigarette smoke. The judge ruled that she can't smoke in her own home or her own car "at any time," because her secondhand smoke could pose a health risk to her 13-year-old son.

A man who has fathered 12 children by 11 different women, and who owes tens of thousands in child support, was forced to agree to a plea agreement that prohibits from ever having sex again. Luther Crawford, 49, would have gone to jail for multiple counts of flagrant nonsupport, but now can't have sex, even with a condom or if he has a vasectomy.

Both defendants are considering appeals. (See 3/26/02 New York Post article, and the 3/26/02 Associated Press article.)

Female Law School Student Sues Professor over Sexual Harassment Lesson

In the ultimate irony, a female University of Virginia law student has filed a lawsuit accusing her male professor of committing assault and battery against her.

His alleged crime? During his lecture last fall, Professor Kenneth Abraham touched the shoulder of Marta Sanchez, in order to illustrate a legal principle. That's what he thought it was. But to her, it was a caress that caused her to experience disturbing memories of rape, pregnancy and abortion she suffered in her native Panama. The lawsuit seeks $25,000 in compensatory damages and $10,000 in punitive damages. (See 2/26/02 AP article.)

I've previously written about how frivolous charges of sexual harassment have hurt women. In the early 1990s, following the Anita Hill accusations, the workplace hostility between men and women became so great because of frivolous sexual harassment claims that women were considered untrustworthy, and millions of jobs were closed to women.

If women want men to take sexual harassment seriously, then women have to take sexual harassment serious themselves, by criticizing women who make these trivial charges.

Why Did Jane Swift Bow Out?

Last year, Jane Swift became acting Governor of Massachusetts, and gave birth to twins several months thereafter.

Last week, Jane Swift announced she wouldn't run for Governor in 2002, and, as usual, the debate is not over whether she's a good Governor (few people think she is), but whether she was forced to bow out just because she's a woman.

The announcement by Swift, a Republican, coincided with another announcement, this one by multi-millionaire Mitt Romney that he would run for Governor. Romney made a name for himself in 1994 when he put up a strong fight against Ted Kennedy for Senator, the only Republican in many years who wasn't simply squashed like a bug. Romney is just back from serving as Chairman of the Salt Lake Olympics Organizing Committee, and the thought is that if Romney came close to beating Kennedy, then adding the Olympics cachet might make him a strong Republican candidate for Governor.

However, the analysis that Romney might be a better potential Governor than Swift didn't enter the mind of Boston Globe woman columnist Eileen McNamara, who says Swift never had a chance, because men had it in for a woman:

    It's hard to know which is more enraging, the presumption of a rich, white man that he can buy the governor's office or the misogyny of a political culture that makes it impossible for a woman even to try to earn it.

    Forget the polls and the tolls. Forget the long commute and the young children. In the end, Swift was undone by the insidious but impressive ability of those ''powerful men'' we've heard so much about lately to set the political agenda in this state. Money men backing the horse with good teeth and deep pockets. Campaign consultants orchestrating a sense of suspense around the most predictable political announcement in recent history. Media mouths, male and female, devoting ink and air time to her weight gain and his star power, mocking her record while ignoring his. (The Olympic Golden Boy is ambivalent about abortion rights and anti-union? Gee, who knew?)

Woman columnist Joan Vennochi, who previously criticized Democrats for not supporting women, also thinks it's all about gender, but she says that it's women who had it in for a woman:

    Did Swift let women down by dropping out instead of facing off against millionaire Olympic hero Mitt Romney? That suggestion makes me mad to the bone.

    Women did not support Jane Swift. Why should Swift sacrifice one additional ounce of professional sanity, or one more minute of precious family time, to support them?

    Blind loyalty is not the issue. Women need not vote for a candidate simply on the basis of gender. But let's not pretend the attacks on Swift had anything to do with economic policy. What male politician ever took heat for a no-tax pledge?

    In the technologically advanced 21st century, the female MO remains remarkably base and savage. Women beat up on the woman who achieves a certain status and position; then, they beat up on her all over again when, hurt and humiliated, she staggers off to recover.

However, male Globe columnist Adrian Walker checked with a Democratic contender for the same office, the current Treasurer Shannon O'Brien:

    "I think it's tough being in politics in any event," O'Brien said, adding that she believes Swift's troubles are attributable to something other than gender.

    "I think ultimately that it was just some poor decisions that she made. I think that led to a lot of the problems with the public's perception of her leadership ability."

    So she doesn't believe that Swift was undone by gender. She cited Swift's response to the events of Sept. 11, in particular, as one of many missed opportunities. While the governor's actions were well-received for a while, O'Brien thinks she displayed a dismaying inability to communicate, especially with her subordinates at Massport.

    "One of the things you have to be able to do is you have to be able to pick up a phone and talk to people," she said. "I don't think it's a male or female quality; it's just you.

    "One of the criticisms I had of Jane Swift after Sept. 11, she didn't pick up the phone and have a conversation with [then-Massport executive director] Virginia Buckingham. This was at the center of a national and international crisis. There were questions about politics, there were questions about whether the right management team was in place. If I was governor, I would have been talking to her every day."

    O'Brien says Swift has been guilty of excessive timidity, and that there are lessons for women, and men, in Swift's rocky tenure.

Only the third of these three columnists even addressed the question of whether Jane Swift would make a good governor. But what's even more bizarre is that all of them take the politically correct position that there's no difference between men and women except a few body parts. Any man who's ever been in a relationship with a woman, and any woman who's ever read a book on relationships, know that men's and women's minds are very different, that they think and act differently, and have different motivations. In Jane Swift's case, the governor's office is in eastern Massachusetts, in Boston, and her home, including her househusband and young twins, is in western Massachusetts. Does Jane Swift miss her kids more than a male governor would? You bet. (See 3/20/02 Boston Globe column by Eileen McNamara, 3/21/02 Boston Globe column by Joan Vennochi, and 3/28/02 Boston Globe column by Adrian Walker.)

Was Andrea Yates Just Getting Revenge?

I watched the prosecutors' closing arguments on TV, and they made some very powerful points which not one single newscast has ever mentioned. The prosecutor was telling the jury why he believed they should find Andrea Yates guilty of capital murder for killing her five children.

The prosecutor pointed out that the Andrea had been planning this mass murder for months, and had deceived everyone about her plans -- her husband, her husband's mother, her doctors, her kids, and anyone else she knew. It was a long, well-conceived plan that she followed.

The prosecutor then said that we don't know her motive in killing her children, but one possible motive is that she had wanted to get even with her husband for being so poor. If she had simply killed herself, then he would still have the kids, but without her; by killing the kids, she deprives him of the kids. ... Click here to read more

Should Dear Abby Have Reported Child Porn Suspect?

The recent news story about Dear Abby tipping off the police about a man suspected of possessing child pornography bothers me at many levels. (See 3/14/02 Boston Globe story).

Before dealing with the Dear Abby situation specifically, it's worthwhile reviewing some disturbing things about child sexual abuse.

I've been dealing with gender issues for 15 years, and many of the stories I've heard, especially those involving child abuse, have been truly sickening. I've heard stories of 30 year old men having sex with 13 year old girls, and I've even heard a story of a 40 year old men having sex with an 8 year old girl. These men are truly abusive, and ought to pay for their crimes.

But I'm truly bothered that a 20 year old male having consensual sex with a 15 year old girl is considered to be rape and child abuse.

Indeed, how can it be child abuse for a 20 year old male to have consensual sex with a 15 year old girl, when it is not child abuse or rape for a 15 year old male to have consensual sex with a 15 year old girl? It simply doesn't make sense.

(And of course I note in passing that the 1971 movie, Summer of '42, is considered a beautiful coming of age story of three boys and an older woman in wartime, and actually earned an Oscar nomination. By contrast, the 1997 movie Lolita, discussed below, is considered controversial. Both movies portray adults who would be considered rapists, pedophiles, and child abusers, but in Summer of '42 the pedophile perpetrator is a woman, so the movie is not considered controversial.)

Even worse, two 15 year olds could be having consensual sex perfectly legally, but a day later, on the boy's 16th birthday, he could suddenly turn into a child abuser and rapist in some states. That doesn't make sense either.

A related issue is the "Lolita" factor. Anyone who saw the 1997 Lolita, starring Jeremy Irons as Humbert Humbert and Dominique Swain as Lolita, is aware that an adult man must protect himself against seductive, predatory teen girls, or have his life destroyed.

It's this issue of self-protection that I'm really addressing here. In Lolita, Humbert suddenly becomes Lolita's guardian, and she has to live with him. He becomes obsessed with her, and she becomes obsessed with seducing him. In Humbert's case, the only possible form of self-protection is to rid himself of the girl, and in real life that may well be what any man in that situation must do to protect himself.

Self-protection comes in many forms. Someone once told me, "There's something wrong with everybody," and I've often been grateful that my addiction has been to chocolate, rather than to drugs or alcohol or little girls. But there's no doubt that some men are sexually attracted to little girls.

Many -- and by that I mean almost all -- of these men are undoubtedly honorable. A man in this category undoubtedly knows that acting on his impulses would destroy not only his own life but the life of the girl as well.

Still, how does such a man protect himself? This brings me to my concern about Dear Abby's betrayal of one of her readers.

Based on information that has been published, this man was very troubled by his sexual attraction to his girlfriend's young daughters, and he wrote to Dear Abby for advice. Based on the information that's available, he's never acted on his attraction, he did the honorable thing in seeking advice, and she turned him in to the cops anyway. He was trying to find a solution to a problem, she decided to destroy his life.

The cops came and found and found pornographic pictures of children on his computer, and arrested him on charges of possession of child pornography.

Presumably, this man had been using child pornography as a means of discharging his sexual tension, to protect himself, and reduce his obsession with the girls.

What should he have done? If a man finds himself attracted to a young girl, what's the "right" thing to do? Should he just turn himself in to the police?

I would have advised him to dump his girlfriend, get rid of her and her daughters, and date someone else who doesn't have daughters. Indeed, I can't imagine what other path he could have followed.

But Dear Abby didn't advise him to do that. She betrayed an honorable man, turned him in to the cops, and destroyed his life.

It's worth pointing out that the current Dear Abby is the daughter of the original Dear Abby, who is the sister of Ann Landers. I've read Ann Landers occasionally for decades, and she's become increasingly hostile to men as time has gone on, especially since her own divorce.

It's pretty clear that a man should think hard before trusting any of these women to give him advice.

Syphilis Rate More Than Doubles in New York City

Reported cases of syphilis more than doubled in the city from 117 cases in 2000 to 282 cases 2001. However, the increase was apparently almost entirely among men having gay sex, raising prompting concern of a possible resurgence of AIDS and HIV infections. (See 3/7/02 Newsday article.)

Unmarried UK Soldiers Allowed To Keep Girlfriends Overnight

A new UK army policy will allow unmarried soldiers to spend nights in the barracks with their girlfriends. Accommodation will also be made for romantic weekends. (See 3/5/02 Sky News article.)

Monica: Affair With Clinton was 'Cool'

Starting an affair with the President was "incredibly exciting," according to Monica Lewinsky, whose affair with President Clinton began in 1995 when she was 22.

Her attitude at the time was "OK, whatever, I'm young, that's the president, he is cute, that's kind of cool, irresponsible but cool." (See 3/5/02 news article.)

Get a Quickie Divorce -- Online!

A new online service provides for quickie online divorces, for just $249.

Here's how it works: One party or the other answers all the necessary questions online. Then both parties sign the papers and mail them in to the court. And voilà! You're divorced, often without even having to appear in court.

Restrictions: You have to live in California, Washington, or Florida. The divorce has to be completely uncontested, and you both have to agree to the terms.

The online service can be used even if you have children. It automatically generates child support calculations, and completes parenting plans and all other forms needed. (See 3/1/02 World News Daily article).

NOW disses SI Swimsuit Issue

It's always a pleasure to read the latest whining opinions from the National Organization For Women, and we wondered what the ladies would think of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Well, I'm disappointed to say that the review, written by communications director Lisa Bennett, indicates that NOW is not pleased.

The "advertisements appear to be conjured by some very insecure men, the kind who worry that size does matter," she discovers, bemoans the fact that women and sex are used as sales tools for "alcohol, and its ever-present phallic bottles."

"The most offensive layout in the entire magazine must be the last one, depicting models wearing bathing suits made of bizarre materials," including cactus, money, cigar bands, coffee beans, chili papers, silver and jade. The message is that "women's bodies are nothing more than a commodity to be bought and sold." (See 2/22/02 NOW review.)

Men Become Grumpy Because of Hormones

It turns out that men become grumpy and irritable later in life because their testosterone levels go down, according to a study by the Medical Research Council's Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh. (See 2/27/02 BBC News article.)

Men Taking to Wearing Pantyhose

No statistics are kept on who buys pantyhose from retail stores. But online statistics are suddenly revealing a startling statistic: That a large number of women's hosiery sales go to males, many of whom place two orders -- large sizes for themselves and smaller ones for their wives. One company, Comfilon, sells pantyhose made exclusively for men. "There's a whole underground culture of normal, mainstream guys who wear hose," says Chief Executive Steve Katz. He says that he sells hundreds of thousands of dollars a year worth of their pantyhose brand, which has male-specific features such as a fly in front. The company's motto: "Comfilons are not your mothers pantyhose." (See 2/19/2002 Wall Street Journal article.)

Poll: Scottish Children Reject Spanking

A survey of over 1,300 youngsters across Scotland found found that 94% of them were convinced that other ways of disciplining children besides spanking them and smacking them were available, and they preferred adults to use alternatives to hitting. (See 2/21/2002 BBC News story.)

Suicide Rate Highest for Divorced Men

Men commit 80% of the suicides -- and most of them are by divorced men. According to divorce lawyers Richard and Paula Stone, it's harsh treatment by the divorce courts that drive divorced men to suicide. "One case involved a child who wasn't even born and the mother said the ex-husband couldn't have anything to do with the child, but expected and got full child support from her ex after their child was born. The anxiety and the alienation imposed on these gentlemen is extreme. They become very depressive." They added, that family law has changed drastically over the past two decades. "Women can reopen a spousal support case any time. It's very rare, if the wife doesn't want to give up custody, that men will be granted much more than visitation rights. For fathers who were involved very closely with the raising of their kids, it's really hard to get their heads around the fact that they'll only be able to see their kids every other weekend. They get really depressed and they have absolutely no place to go for help. I often suggest they seek counselling." (See 2/15/2002 Toronto Star article.)

These findings are reinforced by my own findings that a significant number of divorced men express the desire to see their ex-wives killed (e.g., by a traffic accident), and by other studies that show men feel significant hatred for their ex-wives. For some men, this results in violence, but for many more others, it results in suicide.

Men Outperform Women on General Knowledge Tests

Two recent studies lead to a politically controversial result: Men consistently outperform women in general knowledge tests, even in categories typically thought to favor women, such as fashion. In one test, 19 domains of general knowledge were tested. Women scored significantly higher than men in Cookery and Medicine; For scores on Popular music, Film and Fashion, there is no association with sex, In the remaining 14 domains of general knowledge (History of Science, Politics, Sport, History, Classical Music, Jazz and Blues, Art, Literature, General Science, Geography, Games, Discovery and Exploration, Biology, and Finance), men did significantly better. (See 2/22/2002 National Post article.)

"You Stole the Land - May as Well Take the Women!"

In The Village Voice this week, about one third of the "women seeking men" personal ads are from Palestinian women wanting to meet Jewish men who will take them back to Israel. No one quite knows what to make of it. "There seems to be something orchestrated here, but orchestrated for what purpose?" wonders one Jewish activist. (See 2/12/02 New York Post article.)

Is Your Girlfriend Corybantic?

The word of the day was "corybantic" a few days ago on the Merriam-Webster dictionary web site. It means "wild," and it's derived from the ancient goddess Corybant. It's a great word, and should come in handy in many situations. (See Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for Jan 25.)

UK Plans Possible Changes in Parental Contact Laws

Making Contact Work, a report by the United Kingdom's Lord Chancellor's Department is recommending that mothers be fined or otherwise sanctioned for flouting court-ordered visitation orders. A proposal to recommend that joint physical custody be used more often was rejected without further study, however.

Feminist groups rejected the report, claiming that "fear of abuse" was the major reason that mothers violate court-ordered visitation orders. However, the authors pointed out that that subject was fully covered in a recent previous report devoted exclusively to contact between children and violent parents. "The focus of the present consultation is on cases where domestic violence is not an issue. However, where domestic violence is relevant to the present consultation, we deal with it," the report says.

The report stresses "the importance of maintaining contact" with the non-custodial parent, and the damage caused by acrimony in this area.

The court process came under fire for being "slow, unpredictable and adversarial, with the consequence that the disputants became, if anything, more entrenched in their respective positions at the end of the proceedings than they were at the outset."

With regard to enforcement, the report noted that "proceedings for committal leading to fines and imprisonment is not only a crude way of enforcing contact orders: it is also ineffective."

"The rule of law and the proper administration of justice both required that lawful orders made by the court had to be obeyed by those to whom they were addressed. It followed that the ultimate power of the court to punish for disobedience of its orders had to be retained, although imprisonment should only be used as a last resort and in the most extreme circumstances, i.e. cases of flagrant, blatant and inexcusable breaches of a court order. In practice, it was recognised that the power to imprison was very rarely used," the report said. However, it is to be made clear that imprisonment of the mother is "an option, and not an empty threat."

The most important enforcement question, according to the report, is the case "where the court finds that contact is in the best interests of the child but is being irrationally frustrated" by the custodial mother. The report suggests a number of remedies to be attempted prior to imprisonment: referring the mother to a psychiatrist, force the mother to attend parenting classes, sentencing to community service work, assessing fines or even financial compensation to the non-custodial parent.

Enforcement is only a small part of this report. Other subjects include the nature of court procedures, the role of lawyers, and the problem of fathers who don't choose to see their children. (See 2/9/02 London Times story. Also, see the complete report to the Lord Chancellor.)


For someone like myself who's become attuned to gender politics, it was clear, reading between the lines, that the authors of the report were quite fed up with women's groups' excusing every behavior by custodial mothers on some vague accusation of abuse.

"We were both surprised and disappointed that all the women's groups took us to task for our apparent failure to mention domestic violence in the body of the [report]," laments the authors.

The report referred only indirectly to the fact that a child is more likely to be abused, beaten or raped in his mother's home (by either the mother or her boyfriend) than in the father's home. In response to a feminist reference to a case where the father was violent, the report refers to another case where "the mother of the children had inflicted a number of stab wounds on the father with a carving knife in a violent altercation shortly before the father left."

This report is one of a number or recent trends which appear to hold women more accountable for their actions. It's consistent with the recent court ruling which fines women who get restraining orders and then return to live with the men who were supposedly battering them. In both cases, part of the reasoning is that the integrity of the court is at stake if women simply ignore court orders.

Gender Differences in Olympic Tastes

According to a new Gallup survey, men and women have different tastes in their favorite Olympic sports.

Figure skating's status as the most favored event is mainly a result of women's strong preference for that sport. Nearly half of women, 49%, say figure skating is their favorite event, easily outdistancing the runner-up, downhill skiing, which is named by 18%. No other sport receives even 5% mention from women.

Men's preferences are more varied. Among men, downhill skiing is the favorite sport, mentioned by 29%. Figure skating (13%), bobsledding (12%) and hockey (12%) are men's next most favorite events, although all place well behind downhill skiing. Four percent of men say they most enjoy ski jumping and luge. (See 1/22/02 Gallup News Service analysis of Olympic preferences.)

New Census Bureau Report on Marriage Reports Grim Picture

Nine out of ten people get married at least once, but 50% of first marriages end in divorce, according to a new Census Bureau report, their most comprehensive study of marriage trends in two decades,

Other highlights of the report:

  • 8% of adult men and 10% of adult women are currently divorced. 20% of men and 22% of women have been divorced at least once.
  • 13% of men and women have been married twice, and 3% of men and women have been married three or more times.
  • While 90% of couples married in the late 1940s reached their 10th anniversary, only 73% of those married in the early '80s reached that milestone.

Princeton University Prof. Joshua Goldstein said divorce rates started flattening out in the early 1980s and might have even declined a bit since. But he said it's too early to tell whether the more stable trend will continue. See Census Bureau report, and 2/8/02 Minneapolis Star Tribune story

Plenty Of Sex Advised for Successful Pregnancy

Sex, and plenty of it, not only increases the odds of getting pregnant, but also makes miscarriages and other problems less likely. The reason? The woman's immune system becomes accustomed to the same man's sperm over time, and lets the pregnancy continue. See 2/6/02 Reuters article.

Are you a lonely man? We've got the girl for you!

Looking for someone to love? Check out the romatic Mary's web site This chick is pretty romantic, and may be even a little more neurotic than some of the rest of us, but hey -- if you can meet her numerous demands, you might have a shot!

Another Bizarre Abortion Fuss

Q: How can you tell if a politician's lying? A: By watching to see if his lips are moving.

Both pro-life and pro-choice nut case politicians and talking heads are filling the air waves with hysterical nonsense over the Bush administration's decision last week to provide prenatal care to low-income women, expanding the coverage to embryos and fetuses from the moment of conception, so that low-income pregnant women can gain access to prenatal care.

The hysterical lip-flapping by people on both sides is based on the following presumption: That by providing money in this way, fetuses become "people," and therefore abortion will become illegal, since it's killing "people."

Only a complete moron (or a politician) could possibly believe that. The Supreme Court is as jealous of its prerogatives as anyone else, and do you think the Supreme Court would stand by and let some administration announcement mean the end of the Roe v Wade decision? All nine of the justices would be so pissed off at that kind of attempt, that they'd strike it down immediately by a vote of 9-0.

The Bush administration proposal to expand welfare coverage may be a good idea or a bad idea on medical or fiscal grounds, but it will have no affect whatsover on abortion law. But that won't stop the moron politicians on both sides of the issue from using frenzied rhetoric to pretend that it does. See 2/7/02 Oregon Live article, and NOW's expression of outrage.

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