Table of Contents

Here's a summary of the contents of all the chapters:

Chapter 1, My Story: This tells you why social workers act the way they do. If you're a man going through a contested divorce, or dealing with social workers for any reason, then you may have already learned that most social workers deal with men pretty acrimoniously. Read this chapter to learn why social workers do what they do, what they're thinking, and what their point of view is.

Why are they so offensive to men? How can you recognize it? How do they rationalize it to themselves? And what effect does it have on men? The material in this chapter, which is geared to helping men, is unlike anything that's appeared in any other book.

Of all the material in this book, I strongly urge any man who is going to be dealing with social workers (which, sooner or later, is every man) to read chapter 1 very carefully. This chapter is tough reading, but you'll find detailed information here on how social workers and other feminist professionals think and act. It literally took me years of confusion to figure this material out, and you won't find as thorough and complete and valuable a presentation of this subject in any other book.

Also, if you are a man expecting to go through a divorce, you should make a point of trying to understand the overwhelming hatred you may end up feeling for your ex-wife. You will need to manage that hatred, so that your ex-wife won't be able to use it against you.

Chapter 2, Real Rape: This chapter moves into the national political arena, analyzing how feminists have not helped women (they don't even claim to have helped women) and how they in fact have hurt women in their sexual harassment and rape policies.

The title of this chapter is an especially ironic one. Real Rape was the title of a book by Susan Estrich, who herself had been violently raped. When she became President Clinton's principal defender after Clinton was credibly charged with rape, she became one of the people whom, her book makes clear, she despises the most -- people in power (usually men) who support rapists by refusing to condemn them. She (like other feminists) sold out herself and her most fundamental beliefs for purely political reasons.

Like much of this book, this chapter contains information that's intended to be educational, because I believe that the best way to help people -- in this case, potential victims of rape -- is to have the most accurate information available. It presents a summary of research on how rapists work, along with some suggests for changes to public policy with regard to rape.

Chapter 3, Family Violence: This addresses the questions of domestic violence and child maltreatment. Once again, the latest research is presented, along with an analysis of how feminist policies have hurt women in violent relationships, and suggestions for public policies changes to reduce domestic violence.

Chapter 4, Liberation Day and the Dance of Renewal: This chapter came out of an attempt on my part to understand why it is that twice as many women as men file for divorce, often for trivial reasons. One of the conclusions of this chapter is that many women seek this "Dance of Renewal" (to quote one author) because she can take advantage of substantial child support payments she'll receive to fund her liberation, which takes place without regard to the enormous harm she does to her children and their father.

This chapter also contains the latest research -- this time on predicting whether a marriage will end in divorce, and what can be done to prevent divorce. Although this information is targeted to men, many women in distressed marriages will also find this information useful, if they wish to try to save their marriages.

Chapter 5, Lawyers: This is a short chapter on abuses by divorce lawyers.

Chapter 6, A Plea for Nonpartisan Male Activism: This is an analysis of the many, many myths about fathers that prevail in society today. Unfortunately, we men tend to leave gender issues to women; many men are simply afraid to talk about them. Unfortunately, women haven't done so well, in my opinion. This chapter urges men to become activists.

Chapter 7, Due Process: This chapter contains a "Model Harassment Policy." Feminists usually define sexual harassment as any action by a man which any woman at any times says is sexual harassment for any reason. This Model Harassment Policy, which was developed online by me and a sexual harassment activist working together, defines exactly what sexual harassment is, and describes procedures that a company can adopt to actually reduce sexual harassment in the workplace -- something which feminist policies have so far failed to do.

Chapter 8, Miscellaneous Essays on Gender Issues: This is a collection of essays on various gender issues. Many of these essays were previously published in my weekly online column, "Fraternizing With The Enemy." Some of these essays contain advice, some contain information, and others are just for fun.

The Appendix, Feminist Literature: This is a survey of feminist books that I've reviewed over the years, and which have spoken to my understanding of how feminists act and think. I believe that every man should have some familiarity with feminist literature, if only to understand how preposterous and even bizarre it is. Nonetheless, many social workers and other women professionals actually believe this material, and understanding feminist literature means you'll have a better understand of these women professionals.

                 Table of Contents

  Preface                                   xiii

  Special Features of this Book            xxiii

  Chapter 1 - My Story                         1
    Open Discrimination                        3
    The Feminist World View                    5
    Sidebar: Two Divorced Full-Time Parents   11
    The 1988 Meetings                         13
    Feminists and Child Abuse                 16
     Andrea Yates                             18
    Sidebar: Len Umina                        21
    First Weekend                             25
    Sidebar: A Mother's Experience            30
    The Aftermath                             31
    Counting confrontations                   33
    Does Discrimination Matter?               35
    Depressed Men                             37
    John Patryck                              39
    Murderous Rage                            41
    Sidebar:  One Man's Experience with
              Visitation Centers              45
    "Anchors Around My Legs"                  50
    Why are feminists the way they are?       53
    The "Two Worlds" Theory                   55
    The Domestic Violence Industry            58
    Philosophy                                59
    Advice for Men                            60
    Children of Divorce                       62
    Questions and Answers                     63
    Study and Research                        66

  Chapter 2 - Real Rape                       69
    "These Women are Crazy"                   70
    The Political Orientation of Feminism     72
    The Anita Hill Disaster                   73
    "The Personal is Political"               75
    Was Susan Estrich Really Raped?           78
    When is a crime not political?            83
    Research on rape                          85
     Categorizing Rapists                     85
     Anger Retaliatory Rapists                86
     Selecting Rape Victims                   86
    False and mistaken accusations of rape    88
     Canadian Analysis of False Rape Charges  93
    Rape and Pornography                      95
     The Trigger Event Evidence               95
     "The Porn Made Me Do It" Evidence        96
     Violent Pornography and Child
                     Pornography              98
     Aggression and Attitudes Evidence       100
     Why the Campaign Against Pornography
               is Dangerous to Women         102
     Can Pornography be an Obsession?        104
    Date Rape                                106
    Questions and Answers                    109
    Study and Research                       110

  Chapter 3 - Family Violence                112
    Why is it so hard to get accurate
            family violence figures?         113
    The National Family Violence
            Surveys (NFVS)                   117
    Data from the National Family
            Violence Surveys                 119
    Department of Justice Data on
            Violence by Intimates            121
    HHS Data on Child Abuse                  122
    HHS Data on Child Fatalities             126
    Why are Women Violent?                   127
    Fathers vs. Stepfathers                  128
    Sidebar: Shaken Baby Syndrome            129
    Why Violence by Women is Important       130
    Feminist View of Violence by Women       134
    How do we find the sociopathic or
             pathological child abusers?     140
    Sidebar: Child Abuse Checklist           143
    Transactional Child Abuse                144
     Transactional vs. Sociopathic
                  Child Abuse                145
     Child Abuse and Domestic Violence       146
    So how do we prevent child abuse?        148
    Jenny Jones                              149
    Getting Help                             151
    The Mandatory Arrest Solution            156
    Abuse of the System                      162
    Couples Seeking Help                     166
    Private Therapy for Relationships
                  with Violence              168
    Sidebar: Therapy for Domestic
                  Violence Couples           169
    Summary of Findings                      170
    Questions and Answers                    173
    Study and Research                       174

  Chapter 4 - Liberation Day and the
              Dance of Renewal               176
    Flying Solo                              178
    Effects of Divorce on Women and Men      179
     Reasons Women Give for Seeking Divorce  180
     Winners and Losers                      180
    Marriage Shock                           182
    Sidebar - The End of a Marriage          184
    The Dance of Renewal                     185
    Funding the Dance of Renewal             186
    Teen Pregnancy and Liberation Day        188
     Hormones are Still King                 195
    "Going Hunting"                          196
     On Condoms and DNA Tests                197
    Is Marriage Really Bad for Women?        199
    Proposal: Increase Father Custody        200
    Advice for Men: In Praise of Peter Pan   201
     "Whatever you say, dear!"               202
     Stable Marriages                        204
     The Four Horsemen                       205
    Can This Marriage be Saved?              209
    Questions and Answers                    211
    Study and Research                       211

  Chapter 5 - Lawyers                        212
    Generating Paperwork                     212
    Hell Hath No Fury                        213
    Abusive Women Lawyers and
                  Feminist Lawyers           214
    What can you do about it?                215
    Questions and Answers                    216
    Study and Research                       217

  Chapter 6 - A Plea for Nonpartisan
                  Male Activism              219
    Fathers' Rights Organizations            222
    Feminists' Objections to Fathers'
                  Rights organizations       224
    Sidebar - Father's Day, 1994             228
    Sidebar - Father's Day, 1995             230
    Men and Girls                            232
     Do Girls Need Physical Contact
                 With Their Fathers?         237
    Sidebar: A daughter with a defiant
                 father                      238
    Can fathers be single parents?           239
    Should We Listen to Women?               240
    Study and Research                       241

  Chapter 7 - Due Process                    242
    History of the Model Harassment Policy   242
    Overview of the Model Harassment Policy  243
     Avoiding the Train Wreck Strategy       244
     What is Harassment?                     245
     Third Party Behaviors                   246
     Escalations                             246
     Resolution                              246
     The Timid Woman Problem                 247
     Promoting informal solutions            248
    Model Harassment Policy                  249
     Behavior Categories                     249
     Procedures  for Handling Offensive
                   Behavior                  250
     Copyright Notice                        251
    Questions and Answers                    251
    Study and Research                       252

  Chapter 8 - Miscellaneous Essays on
                   Gender Issues             253
    In Praise of "Girls"                     253
    Who's In Control?                        256
    Business Etiquette                       258
    Selecting a Dating Service               260
     Together and its competitors            261
     Video and Self-Selection Dating
                    Services                 262
     Premium Services                        264
     Being Realistic                         265
    Top Ten Worst Dates from Hell            267
    Asking for Permission                    269
    Finding the Man of Your Dreams           271
     Who To Avoid                            271
     Devaluing Former Wives                  272
     So Who's Left?                          273
    My Father                                273
     Coming to America                       274
     The Fragility of Women                  275
     Matrimony and Fatherhood                276
     Love                                    278
    Roxie                                    279
     A Good Life                             280
     A New Life                              281
    Jackie O: A Retrospective                282
    Paula Corbin Jones                       284
    Nixon: A Retrospective                   286
    Romeo and Juliet                         288
    The Verdict                              291
     Domestic Violence versus Racism         292
     A Sickening Week                        293
    Angry Black Men                          294
     Isolated Men                            294
     Women Excluded                          295
    Men's Powerful Emotions                  296
     Regulating Negative Emotions            296
     A Great Social Experiment               298
    Abortion and Stem Cells                  298
    Creationism vs. Evolution                300
    Computer Games for Girls and E-commerce  303
     Gender differences in online
                    discussions              306
    Women I've Known ... Online              308
    Questions and Answers                    316

  Appendix - Feminist Literature             318
    Susan Faludi's Backlash                  319
     How About Faludi in Reverse?            322
    Marilyn French and The War Against Women 324
    Andrea Dworkin                           325
    Lenore Weitzman's Child Support Hoax     326
     The Runaround                           327
     Unmasking the Errors                    329
     Weitzman's Other Recommendations        331
    The Sexual Politics of Meat              334
    Naomi Wolf's Fire with Fire              335
     History of Feminism                     336
     Victim Feminism                         337
     Power Feminism                          339

  End Notes                                    I

  Concept Index                              XIX

  Colophon                                    LV