Fraternizing With The Enemy
by John J. Xenakis

 

Sexual Harassment

What is sexual harassment?

Women's activists favor the so-called "reasonable woman" standard: A man is guilty of sexual harassment if a "reasonable woman" feels that he has been harassing her. Women adopted this standard widely in the early to mid 1990s, when they greatly increased the number of sexual harassment complaints they brought against men, often for what men considered to be extremely trivial matters.

Why Is the "Reasonable Woman" Standard A Disaster For Women?

The evidence presented in Fraternizing With The Enemy shows that the "reasonable woman" standard has been an absolute, total disaster for women. Here are some examples.

Following the Clarence Thomas hearings, and Anita Hill's testimony that he had told her some dirty jokes and asked her out, the relationship between men and women in the marketplace became enormously hostile, and this hostility ended up hurting women.

For example, one man, who runs a professional office and is quoted in Fraternizing With The Enemy, had had the practice since the 70s of hiring a woman college graduate each year to serve as an intern for a year. Many of these went on to become professionals in their own right. However, following Anita Hill's testimony, this man changed his policy, and decided he would never hire another woman intern. Since that time, he's only hired male interns.

Another example: A man ran an office where he normally had about a dozen women social workers working for him. He told me, "I don't dare even tell my employees, 'You look nice today,' because I'm afraid she'll bring sexual harassment charges. The only exception is my secretary -- she's worked for me for ten years, and I can trust her."

In fact, almost every man I spoke to had some story. One man told he that he'd seen a condom machine in a men's room, and he mentioned briefly to a woman associate how shocked he was to see it; she brought a sexual harassment complaint. "There's something wrong with women. They're crazy."

One man after another told me they didn't want to have anything to with women in the workplace. By extrapolating these examples, one can estimate that literally millions of jobs nationwide suddenly became unavailable to women. And women in the workplace were viewed by men as being unstable, unreliable, untrustworthy or "crazy." In many cases the only reason that women got jobs at all is because they were willing to take lower pay than men.

Did Women Gain Anything From The Anita Hill Disaster?

I've heard from women who brought sexual harassment complaints against someone, and it was always disastrous for the accused man, but it was also disastrous for the accusing woman. These women were treated with hostility by everyone else, including other women. It was always much worse for them after they brought charges.

I saw one occasion like this with my own eyes between two people I knew at work. The man said something dumb to the woman purposely to annoy her. She complained to the HR rep. The HR rep, a woman, called the man into her office and accused him of harassment. He got angry and quit, and got another job immediately elsewhere, at higher pay. The company lost a valuable worker, and everyone, especially the women, especially the man's (female) manager, were furious at this woman who brought the sexual harassment complaint and caused so much trouble.

I've never heard a woman, feminist or non-feminist or whatever, who has said that as a result of the aftermath of the Anita Hill accusations, women are happier or better off or less harassed. In fact, feminists are complaining about harassment as much as ever. So, we've gone through all this turmoil for nothing.

What Is The Model Harassment Policy?

In 1994, I worked online with Cheryl Kondratow, head of a New Jersey organization, Women Against Sexual Harassment, to develop a Model Harassment Policy that both men and women would agree with. I believe that it's a real advancement for both men and women, and has the potential for really reducing sexual harassment and other kinds of harassment in the workplace.


Copyright © 1986-2003 by John J. Xenakis